Everyone knows about the concept of atonement – a pathway to continue a relationship with G-d despite our sins. In the Torah, atonement, kaparah, is about creating a protective layer, so that we can still come close to G-d despite the enormous gap between man and G-d. We never get to “undo” something that was previously done, but kaparah allows us to find a way to move on, to go forward in our relationship.
We can achieve kaparah with nothing more than prayer or offerings. This is because there is love in the relationship, and when you love someone, then patching up past errors can be done with a token. We see this in every loving marriage. We can find ways to move beyond our sins (against G-d or spouse) with whole-hearted contrition and the stated resolution to do better in the future.
But when there is no love in a relationship, then the resolution has to be more … quantified. Flowers and chocolate do not fix a marriage if there is no love. Where there is no love, resolutions are reached via lawyers and alimony payments.
And tokens certainly will also not suffice if, for example, you steal from a stranger. Theft requires a full suite of compensation in order for the parties to move on.
This might explain why the word for fixing a relationship between normal people is not the same word as fixing a relationship with G-d. Instead of kaparah, the Torah uses the word geulah/goel. Which is interestingly defined by Jacob, who is the first to use this word when he blesses his grandchildren: The Angel who has goel me from all harm (G. 48:16)
What angel saved Jacob from all evil? The one he wrestled, in the buildup to the reunion with Esau!
Every use of this word in the Torah relates to one of the aspects of Jacob and Esau
Here they are! Esau is a legitimate blood avenger for Jacob’s theft; Jacob makes full restitution by returning stolen property (that which Jacob obtained through the stolen blessings);on top of returning property, Jacob pays the guilt payment to Esau for having wronged him; Esau swore to kill his brother (Gen. 27:41), and geulah is the way in which Esau can take back the vow; and when the commitment is revoked, Jacob goes from fear of his life back to a ground state, able to enter the land and renew his relationship with G-d, just as the Jewish people were free from Egypt so that they could properly reconnect with G-d.
P.S. Textual References. Geulah is used for: Blood Avenger: Deut. 19:6, 12, Numbers 35:12-27 • Reversion of Property to its Rightful Owner: Lev. 25:24-54 • Guilt Payment: Numbers 5:8 •Taking Back a Vow or Promise: Lev. 27:13-33 •Resetting a relationship to a ground state: Ex. 6:6 and 15:13
P.P.S. There is another case of an angel addressing Jacob. G. 31:11. But it is only a message (not a blessing), and only one in a dream (not full contact). Additionally, that angel, who tells Jacob to go home, did not necessarily procure a geulah for Jacob. The result was a clean separation from Lavan, not a resolution of any of the issues.