Today, most people try to make life as easy and as simple as possible. So when they look for a mate, they look for commonality and a shared worldview. The thinking seems to be that the more two people have in common, the more compatible they will be, and the happier the resulting relationship.
I think that this approach has been overemphasized. More dynamic relationships come from more substantial differences. After all, if you really want to find someone who shares the same backgrounds and culture and worldview, then both homosexuality and incest need to be on the table.
My “proof,” if you will, is biblical in origin – all the way back to the Garden of Eden. When G-d expels Adam and Eve, He does not do it because they disobeyed Him and ate the fruit. If we read the text itself, the reason is much more interesting than mere disobedience:
And G-d said, “Now that humankind has become more unified with us, knowing good and bad, what if one should stretch out a hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever!” So G-d sent humankind from the garden of Eden. (G. 3:22)
The text is not telling us that man was expelled because we ate from the fruit, but instead that eating from the fruit made us closer to G-d! And so we had to be expelled so that we would not eat from the tree of life. Had we eaten from that tree and gained immortality, then we would have become even more similar to G-d.
Why does this matter? I think it helps understand why G-d made mankind in the first place: to have a relationship. And what kind of relationship? Not one that maximized our similarity to G-d. On the contrary! The Torah seems to be telling us that G-d wanted to preserve differences between humanity and the divine, as well as encourage mankind to reach out to connect with the divine. By becoming more like G-d, we make the relationship less interesting – and we also reduce our own desire to connect with Him.
Even the snake seems to understand this in advance. When he works to convince Eve to eat from the fruit, the snake says,
for G-d knows that on the day you eat of it, then your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be like G-d, knowing good and evil. (G. 3:5)
And G-d seems to agree with the snake! After we eat, He says, “Mankind has become like us, knowing good and bad.” Man has eaten from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. We are now capable of seeing the world much more closely to the way that G-d sees the world: full of dualisms and dichotomies, contrasts and choices. That is what the text is saying – “mankind has become like [G-d]”!
I think the problem G-d has is simple: He craves a relationship with Mankind. But a true relationship requires there to be meaningful differences between the parties. Otherwise it is like G-d with angels – the gap is too small to be interesting. So, just as men and women are created different (and encouraged in the Torah to preserve those differences!), so, too, G-d wants man to be different enough from Him so that the relationship can be productive and growth-oriented.
After all, in classic thought, the biggest difference between man and G-d is mortality. If we could say “death does not touch us” then we have no limitations or controls. If we are immortal, we are much more likely to ignore G-d. Without the sure knowledge of the end of our lives, we don’t need Him anymore.
And so if we had eaten from the Tree of Life, then humanity would no longer feel the need to reach out to G-d (think of how many prayers are triggered by illness or infirmity). If we are not insecure, then we do not take the risks necessary to build real relationships with others.
So there are two answers for why G-d expelled us, keeping us from the Tree of Life: First: there can be no relationship if there is no need or desire. If man is immortal, we would be less interested in connecting with the divine.
Second: G-d wants there to be differences between us. The gap is what makes relationships interesting.
We learn a great deal from this verse about why G-d made us, and what He wants from us in the limited time that we have.
P.S. The same verse opens up a common question: why does G-d refer to Himself in this verse (one of only three such verses in the Torah) in the plural? The answer ties into the above explanation, and it goes as follows:
A small piece of G-d resides in each person – a divine breath or spark (referenced several places in Genesis). We can call that piece a “soul.”
When G-d created mankind, He loaned out souls to humanity. Each and every person in thus ensouled, given the element that makes it possible for us to be more than merely physical animals.
Each person has the opportunity within their lifespan to find ways to reconnect our souls to their origin, to G-d Himself.
When G-d invested souls into people, he consciously created a multitude – a divine element within all of humanity. Each person thus has their own soul, and their own opportunity for connection. Each of us has our own unique capability to connect with G-d.
When we ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the Torah tells us that we were starting to unifyall the divine sparkswith their source, to prematurely bring our souls back to Him. And that had to be stopped, because G-d did not make the world and humanity merely to create more obedient angels. He wants there to be a gap! And he wants each person to be different, to connect with G-d in our own ways.
In this understanding, G-d writ large is the unified whole of every human soul as well as G-d and the heavenly host. If humans were to eat from the Tree of Life and be immortal, then those two critical elements for relationship would vanish: differences, and desire.
So the verse says ke’echad mimenu, which really means “like unifying with all the parts.” The more man becomes like G-d Himself, the more we have undone the investment that G-d initially made by putting His soul in mankind. That is why G-d is referred to as plural in this verse, because humankind, by erasing differences we have from G-d, is reunifying the multitude of souls with G-d Himself.
It reinforces the basic thesis: mankind is meant to be a multitude of ensouled animals, each containing that divine spark that seeks to reconnect with its source.